I can’t tell where are these tears coming from to my college friends, because it is about how I almost fall in love with my roommate’s ex-boyfriend. I can’t talk about it with my high school friends, because everybody knows my roommate was my best friend in high school. The feeling is trapping inside and ready to burst.
He shared every day of the last two years of college experience with her. He cooked for her, he scrubbed her apartment’s carpet, he flew down for a weekend during an exchange program to be her formal date, he comforted her tears, he kissed her, and he was always by her side and desirablely gazed on her. It hurts because I have heard or seen all.
My mascara stained on the back of his t-shirt when he said the last relationship was very special, the best he had ever had, and he can't forget about her. It felt like stubbed by a dagger every time he speaks of her. But I was happy when he said he and I can make new stories. The imaginary happiness didn’t last long though. I really like him, I want to be his girlfriend for maybe just one day, I want to dress up and go to formal with him, but deep down I know it better than anyone that anything more than a friendship between us is impossible. It's hard especially for me to trust distance. It wasn’t comforting to hear him saing he and I could be dating if we are in the same city, a week ago he just suggested to be lovers.
Just like my mom’s warning, at the end, I will be wiping my damn tears, which was gone for years. He said he was too immature to put so much effort into the last relationship. He wrote he liked her because she was genuine, good looking…and something more I don’t recall. Reading at the paragraph is just like a bunch kids playing dart and I am the board. I assume now he is too mature to fly back for a formal date.
What a fake Cinderella dream I had. Physically he is 1007miles away, and mentally his is still occupied, just like the pictures of hers stored on his book shelf.
I had a broken heard before I knew him, and I have a heart in a form of a pile of dust after I almost fall in love with him. Haha I am not worried tho, I withdraw all my feelings, and it will be restored someday.
P.S. He was sobbing at the airport, after he left, the check in lady asked if he were my husband or boyfriend, I started sobbing and said no and no, then she asked if he were my fiancé, I told her no, we are not there yet, she was the first and only person gave me a feedback and it was very sweet, she said: well, you guys are defiantly there. So tempting to believe, only if I were lost in a dream.
- Mood:
Optimism - Listening to: kiss me
- Reading: shitty and incompleted essay
- Watching: the reality
- Playing: with my emotion
- Eating: 85% dark chocolate
- Drinking: milk foam
完结篇
Excited
Approval
Defeated
